were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i dont even know how to be here
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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