nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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