omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
