Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
