So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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