I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
