She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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