Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My ass is underappreciated
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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