its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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