After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
