So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
