Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
