Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
