I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
