I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We are all done wearing pants today
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
