my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I didn't notice because vodka
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
