I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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