You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Found your dick twin last night
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
