I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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