Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
