i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
