Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I booty called her while she was in labor.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
