is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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