sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Randomize
