Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
