She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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