Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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