I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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