I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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