dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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