Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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