weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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