I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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