i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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