Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
