they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
