then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
