just tell him i said nine months
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
