"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
