when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
