Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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