So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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