i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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