dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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