I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
