whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
