it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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