on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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