It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
