So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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